Psalm 6

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I already know that I am not enough.
I cannot save myself. I do not deserve the grace afforded to me.
But please do not tell me that I do not pray hard enough.
I pray every single day. Out of desperation I add more and more.
Maybe if I read this book, do this devotional, or practice this spiritual discipline.
Maybe if I king this Bible study, this small group, or go to church more.
Before long, even more is not enough.
My prays, devotions, and Bible study begin to feel empty and meaningless.
God feels farther, and it is a deeply lonely place.
God is not found in the soul by adding anything but by a process of subtraction.
It is not about doing more, my relationship with is not about consuming more.
One who truly has God will have Him in all places, in the streets and in the world, no less than in the church.
But God and I are already connected, the obstacle is myself, the illusion that I can be more.
God expects but one thing of you, and that is that you should come out of yourself in so far as you are a created being and let God be in you
Perhaps it is not that I need to to pray more, but pray differently.
Perhaps differently means to come as I am not, and not who I think I should be.
God, thank you that I can be me.
Help me to remember that where I am not enough to conquer sin, I am enough to depend on you.
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