When I wake up in the morning, I am so quick to accept that I am not enough. I think of my dreams, gifts, and callings and I am paralyzed by fear and shame. Excuses and lies flow faster than truth and grace. But God, I cannot erase my sin. I am swallowed whole by the lies I have told, the people I have hurt, the things I covet, and the false Gods I desire.
Oh God, how easy it is for me to forget. In the frenzy and panic; hyperventilating until I have no choice but to fall to my knees. For I know that when we forget God, we begin to believe our own lies. It is at my weakest that I remember, it is not what ‘I’ did, but what You have done.
Often I awake into the darkness, but God how you have provided. I am overwhelmed by the answered prayers, and how I witness your presence in this world. I sense you in the stillness, in solitude, and when The world seems like a hot mess.
Thank you God that you have gotten me this far, and that you will not abandon me. Thank you that you have a plan, no matter what I have done. It is because of you that we can be mindful of sin, but defined by you, our creator. My faith tells me that I am not complete until we meet face to face. Help me to remember that you are not finished yet.
Quote from Brad Thayer @bthayer, Pastor at Bethany Community Church