Psalm 7

God I am not sure why you use me to create beautiful things.
I fail you every day in my sin.
I wake up and wonder, why depend on God, when I can be like God?
And yet every day, you give me so much more than I deserve.
In my brokenness, you create empathy.
In my depravity, you still shine through.
How dare I try to have purpose in your kingdom?
How dare I try to have a voice?
God I know that I still struggle with truth, and idols.
But I am thankful for the ways in which you use me. 
Thank you for trusting me to mentor and incoming student.
She is one of your unique and beautiful children.
Thank you for allowing me to help create a vespers service.
This time last year I was scared, and I felt inadequate.
Thank you that in my fear and inadequacy I still have a purpose.
It amazes me that it is not by what I have to offer, but whether I am willing to say yes.

Holy, holy, holy!  Lord God Almighty!
All thy works shall praise thy name, in earth and sky and sea.
Holy, holy, holy!  Merciful and mighty,
God in three persons, blessed Trinity.

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Psalm 4

Your power to redeem has made it difficult to speak.
The work to restore one’s story is both painful, and necessary.
Today I heard story after story.
Abuse, evil, trauma, and pain.
Today I heard story after story.
Joy, redemption, holiness, and shalom found.

God thank you that our stories are precious.
I am not sure why I was so privileged to witness your redemptive work.
I saw the pain, and the contempt.
Stories were told with a new found kindness.
I saw the pain, and the contempt.
Stories were restored for the kingdom of God.

 

 

Psalm 1

When I wake up in the morning, I am so quick to accept that I am not enough. I think of my dreams, gifts, and callings and I am paralyzed by fear and shame. Excuses and lies flow faster than truth and grace. But God, I cannot erase my sin. I am swallowed whole by the lies I have told, the people I have hurt, the things I covet, and the false Gods I desire.

Oh God, how easy it is for me to forget. In the frenzy and panic; hyperventilating until I have no choice but to fall to my knees. For I know that when we forget God, we begin to believe our own lies. It is at my weakest that I remember, it is not what ‘I’ did, but what You have done.

Often I awake into the darkness, but God how you have provided. I am overwhelmed by the answered prayers, and how I witness your presence in this world. I sense you in the stillness, in solitude, and when The world seems like a hot mess.

Thank you God that you have gotten me this far, and that you will not abandon me. Thank you that you have a plan, no matter what I have done. It is because of you that we can be mindful of sin, but defined by you, our creator. My faith tells me that I am not complete until we meet face to face. Help me to remember that you are not finished yet.

Quote from Brad Thayer @bthayer, Pastor at Bethany Community Church